MUG Monday: They're Just Jealous of My Awesomeness

Having recently come to terms with a very honest critique, this post seemed appropriate, especially since I now feel like my story is going to be so much stronger because of that crit. Seriously, there is nothing more valuable than a critter who knows what to look for and isn't afraid to tell you exactly what isn't working. I am truly blessed to have received feedback from some of the best. :)

This is a pretty typical response pattern for me when I get one of those honest critiques. Okay, so maybe I exaggerated the experience, just a little. ;) Enjoy!

THE SEVEN STAGES OF CRITIQUEY GRIEF*

1. SHOCK
What?! But… but I’m AWESOME!!! How could they say such horrible things?

2. DENIAL
They’re wrong. It’s perfect the way it is. There’s nothing they can say that will make me believe it needs to be changed. I write beautiful words. Exquisite words!

3. ANGER
How dare they?! How. Dare. They! Pssssh! They’re just jealous they can’t be as awesome as I am. Pathetic. *flips hair and rolls eyes* Just pathetic.

4. GUILT
Wait. That comment kind of makes sense. And that one. Why didn’t I see that? It’s so obvious!! Oh, this is so humiliating. Now EVERYONE knows what a horrible writer I am. How will I ever show my face on the blogosphere again? I’m going to hide under my desk.

5. DEPRESSION
I suck! Big time. Nothing I write will ever be good enough. I should just give up now and save myself any more humiliation. Miss H.H. Writerlady is so much better than me, and she always leaves such encouraging and insightful comments. Why can’t I write like her? I’ll never get an agent. I’ll never get published. I’m just going to stay under my desk and listen to Evanescence’s My Immortal over and over on my iPod. Just leave me alone and let me wallow in peace. Sniff. Don’t judge me. You have no idea how hard it is to be a writer! WAAAH!

6. THE UPWARD TURN
Sniff. I’m hungry. I need chocolate. And Dr. Pepper. I guess I can sit in the chair. It’s more comfortable than the floor. *wiggles the mouse* Hmm. Maybe this isn’t all crap. Maybe I don’t totally suck. Sniff.

7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE
I guess if I moved this section and tweaked that, it would all flow better. And that is kind of confusing, but I can fix that. No problem. Sorry, beloved scene, beloved chapter, beloved first thirty pages. Looks like we’re better without you. Don’t cry. I’ll miss you too. *wipes a tear* Huh. Wow. This is so much better than it was before. Thank you, critters! Without you, my work never could have been this great! I am a good writer. I will get an agent. I will get published. Because I’m AWESOME!! Of course. ;D

Who's with me? ;)

*pulled from this Sept 2009 post

Making it Up as I Go (MUG) Monday: Letting Go

My first Making it Up as I Go Monday post! Henceforth, to be known as MUG Monday, because I'm lazy.

This post is about writing. Seriously. You’ll see. :)

I recently went to a parent teacher conference for my oldest child. He’s in junior high now, so I got the pleasure of knowing a week ahead of time that I would be meeting with not one, but seven different teachers at the same time. Terrified seems too mild.

Just to give you a little background, my son is a very intelligent boy, but he is a boy in the truest sense of the word and he's much too busy for silly things like studying and homework. Though, I will say (quite proudly) that he’s an avid reader. :)

First day of kindergarten 2003

So, even though I was nervous, I wasn’t really surprised by anything they had to say. I just nodded and explained that I was aware and we were working on it—an ongoing battle since his first day of kindergarten. The teachers were actually all quite genuine and I felt like they really want my son to succeed. Sadly, this hasn’t always been the case in the past.

As we were coming to the end of the meeting, his reading teacher said, “Thank you for understanding your son is human.”

What she meant didn’t sink in at first, but she repeated herself a few more times (I’m assuming this is a teaching technique for us slow folks) and my sleep-deprived brain finally caught her meaning. I wasn’t making excuses for my son and allowing him to continue on the dead-end path he was on. Not without a fight anyway. In other words…. Hey, look! I’m not totally failing as a parent after all. :)

Now for the writerly connection….

If you were lucky enough to be my closest crit partner and writerly friend, you would’ve been bombarded with several angsty emails over the last few weeks about the fate of my current (and only complete) brain child. And after her most recent email, where she told me straight out that I needed a break from said brain child, I had a major duh moment.

I’ve become one of those parents whose child can do no wrong. Not only that, I’m a helicopter parent—always hovering and tweaking, always thinking about what I can do to make my child better. Not always a bad thing, but I let myself get too close. I convinced myself she was perfect and any suggestion that required major changes couldn’t possibly be a good suggestion. Even worse, I haven’t allowed myself to see my brain child’s imperfections and accept them so I can do something about them. Bad book parent.

Of course, my crit buddy knew just how to say it so I would finally get it. I know. She’s awesome. No, you can’t have her. Don’t say you’ll fight me for her. You know I’ll win. ;)

So, though it’s extremely difficult after spending the better part of two+ years carrying my baby with me everywhere I go (if only in my head), I’m sending my brain child to space camp for a month or two. Yes, this makes me very sad, but it will be good for everyone. And if I’m a good book mama, when my first born gets back, she’ll have a new little brother to share my time with. :)

What about all of you? Have you had a project you became too obsessed with? Do you always send your brain children to space camp so you don’t get too attached? Does time apart help?

Spiders are Cool, But...

Many of you know from previous posts that I have a strange fascination with spiders and creepy crawlies in general. So, when my neighbors told me that the house we're living in had hobo spider issues in the basement, I wasn't too concerned. Until last night.

Everyone told me, Hobo's are a lot like brown recluses. They don't climb walls. They're floor spiders. Yeah, well, that's not true. They do climb walls. Even really smooth walls. Particularly the wall right above the head of my bed. But just the hugest hobos ever. So no big deal, right?

Maybe not, except that it was the third huge one I found before going to bed last night. And then this beauty crawled out from under my keyboard this morning. The one that decided to perch above my bed last night was even bigger than this. 'Tis the season, I suppose. Um, yea?

So now I think I have a permanent case of the heeby jeebies.

I wouldn't be so creeped out, except these things like to hide in your clothes and shoes, and give really nasty, festering bites. I won't post pics here, because they really are gross, but if you're curious, just google hobo spider bites, or you can go here. The pics on that site are NOT for those with weak stomachs. You have been warned.

So, how is summer treating all of you? Any exciting critter encounters? :)

Dude, Your Baby is UG-LY!

Originally posted November 12, 2009.

Okay, so no one would ever really say that. Would they?

This post isn’t really about babies. Not the real kind, anyway. On Tuesday, I expressed my love for critiques. But where there is the receiving of critiques, there must also be the giving, right?

Don’t get me wrong. I love giving a critique almost as much as I love getting one. Critiquing the writing of others is awesome for recognizing things you do wrong in your own writing, because a lot of us make the same mistakes. It also helps us look at our own work with a more critical eye. BUT… when it comes to hitting the send button on the email, I always think, “Oh no. What if this makes her hate me?” Especially if it’s a particularly thorough critique, where there’s lots of red on the screen. It kind of feels like I’m sending them an email saying:

“Dude, your baby is UG-LY! But here’s how I (self-proclaimed baby beauty expert) think you can make her prettier.”

How do you feel about critiquing others’ work? Do you worry they’ll take offense? Or do you just figure one good shredding deserves another, and they should just suck it up?

-----------------

And don't forget about Beta Club today. :)

Critiques Are Like Crack

Originally posted November 9, 2009.

I hope that title doesn't offend anyone. :) Everybody cool? Moving on.

I'm totally addicted to critiques. I love getting feedback on my writing. All feedback. Good, bad, ugly, whatever. Sure, sometimes, critiques make me feel like crap, but they're so awesome for showing me all the areas in which I'm sucking*. Then my mind starts churning, and I get all excited, because I know I'm becoming a better writer as a result. And therein lies** the high. ;) Just say no to crack, kids. That stuff is bad news. But critiques? They're all good.

So, what about you? How do you feel about critiques? Love? Hate? A little of both?

*This post reminded me of this commercial. It's definitely sucking. I love it! :) Critiques kind of feel like this, right?



**Does anyone know if that sentence is grammatically correct? (Ignore the conjunction starting the sentence. I did that on purpose.) MS Word is telling me it should be lays. The whole lay/lie business can be very confusing, but that sounds totally wrong to me (which could be because it's kind of cliche phrasing), and it just makes me think of potato chips.

The Beta Club

Similar to MSFV's Secret Agent contest, Roni at Fiction Groupie is hosting a crit session every Tuesday and Thursday. Brave souls have offered up the openings of their precious manuscripts for some serious shredding. All with the hope of making their writing as shiny as possible. It can be brutal to be on the receiving end, but ultimately (when you can finally see through your tears ;)), it's so worth it.

Everyone is welcome to participate. Feel free to offer up any advice you think might be helpful. And if you're new to critiquing, this is a great way to get an idea of what goes into a critique and what to expect when you eventually get one. Because every good writer knows, you just can't be your best without those awesome critters.

Up today, is the very awesome Tere Kirkland. Good luck, Tere!

And I want to apologize for being a little absent lately around the blogosphere. I haven't been commenting as much as I would like, but that's because I've been COOKIN' on my manuscript. I wrote over 3000 words yesterday! Insane, I know. I hope I'm not jinxing myself by posting about it. ;) So, I'm not completely absent, just lurking a little more while the words are flowing so freely.

Happy Thursday, everyone! :)

What Makes the Best Crit Partner?

There's a post over on The Literary Lab today about having friends critique your work. The gist of it is that you shouldn't have friends (writer or otherwise) critique your work, because the feedback you get is not going to be as honest as what you need to make your writing the best it can be. I agree with this to a point.

Obviously, close friends and family who are not writers, or maybe they are writers but you were friends before your writing came into the relationship—either way, those people, as a general rule, are not going to tell you what's wrong with your writing. In those cases, the personal relationship would be too important to alienate you, the writer, by truly being critical of your work. I think this holds true for most relationship in the blogosphere as well. You just don't know if saying something critical is going to hurt someone's feelings, or if they're going to take it the wrong way.

However, I think it's possible to have a close, friendly relationship with other writers and still get solid, honest feedback on your work. I have a couple of writer friends that I met online and we swapped manuscripts and did critiques for eachother. In the process, they've actually become what I consider my good friends, but that doesn't have a negative affect on our critiquing relationship. If anything, I think it makes it more honest, because I know what they want out of the crit, and if there's something HUGE in their manuscripts that needs fixed, I tell them. Granted, I will most likely preface it with a "Please don't hate, but...", but I always try to be as honest as possible. Even if I think it might initially be painful to hear, because I want them to succeed as much as I want to succeed.

So what do you all think? Is it possible to be friends with the writers you go to for critiques? Or do you think keeping it strictly professional is essential?

NaNos and Partials and Crits, Oh My!

Not much to say about NaNo except that it has turned into NaNoNoWriNoMo. Say that five times fast. :) It's not NaNo's fault the story isn't working. I have too many non-writerly distractions right now. I'll get back to it later, after the craziness that is my life dies down. This is the kind of craziness that goes away, so I'm not just procrastinating. Seriously. Okay, so maybe a teensy bit. Don't tell.

In the good news arena, I got my first partial request this week. I'm trying not to get too worked up about it, but it is my first, off the first batch sent out with my shiny new query, so yeah. I can't help it. I'm totally freaking out. :) Woohoo!

And my friend and uber awesome crit buddy, Tere Kirkland, is in need of fresh beta eyes (preferably, still attached to living people) for her very cool YA Paranormal, EVANGELINE. If you're interested, head on over and give her a holler. You might as well follow while you're over there. Then you can say you were one of the first. :)

Sorry I've been so absent lately. I'm still trying to check in when I can, but my life really is all kinds of crazy right now. I hope you're all doing well, and I'd love to hear about your progress or good news or whatever you'd like to share.

Happy Wednesday! :D

Dude, Your Baby is UG-LY!

Okay, so no one would ever really say that. Would they?

This post isn’t really about babies. Not the real kind, anyway. On Monday, I expressed my love for critiques. But where there is the receiving of critiques, there must also be the giving, right?

Don’t get me wrong. I love giving a critique almost as much as I love getting one. Critiquing the writing of others is awesome for recognizing things you do wrong in your own writing, because a lot of us make the same mistakes. It also helps us look at our own work with a more critical eye. BUT… when it comes to hitting the send button on the email, I always think, “Oh no. What if this makes her hate me?” Especially if it’s a particularly thorough critique, where there’s lots of red on the screen. It kind of feels like I’m sending them an email saying:

“Dude, your baby is UG-LY! But here’s how I (self-proclaimed baby beauty expert) think you can make her prettier.”

How do you feel about critiquing others’ work? Do you worry they’ll take offense? Or do you just figure one good shredding deserves another, and they should just suck it up?

Critiques Are Like Crack

I hope that title doesn't offend anyone. :) Everybody cool? Moving on.

I'm totally addicted to critiques. I love getting feedback on my writing. All feedback. Good, bad, ugly, whatever. Sure, sometimes, critiques make me feel like crap, but they're so awesome for showing me all the areas in which I'm sucking*. Then my mind starts churning, and I get all excited, because I know I'm becoming a better writer as a result. And therein lies** the high. ;) Just say no to crack, kids. That stuff is bad news. But critiques? They're all good.

So, what about you? How do you feel about critiques? Love? Hate? A little of both?

*This post reminded me of this commercial. It's definitely sucking. I love it! :) Critiques kind of feel like this, right?



**Does anyone know if that sentence is grammatically correct? (Ignore the conjunction starting the sentence. I did that on purpose.) MS Word is telling me it should be lays. The whole lay/lie business can be very confusing, but that sounds totally wrong to me (which could be because it's kind of cliche phrasing), and it just makes me think of potato chips.

Fun Arizona Stuff

My husband found this tailless whip scorpion while he was out working. Isn't he cool? He looks small in the photos, but his body is about as long as my pinky, not including his legs. I know he looks sinister, but he eats other bugs, like cockroaches and crickets, so he's a good guy. And he's harmless to humans. Don't you wish you had one now? ;D

Chirp Chirp

I feel a little like a zombie today. My eyes keep trying to close as I write this. For some reason, my brain kicks on about 10pm and that’s when I seem to get some of my best work done. I don’t know, maybe it’s the delirium of exhaustion getting my creative juices flowing, but strangely enough, it works. This puts me in bed about midnight or 1am, which wouldn’t be such a big deal, except I then have to get up at 6am to get the kids ready for school and on the bus. I tried to go back to bed for a couple of hours this morning, to see if I could get my brain to start working again before work this afternoon, but Jason woke me just as I was drifting off. He had some very exciting news.

Today is baby chicken day.


We have three silkie chickens that we got for the kids for Easter last year. One of the hens started laying eggs in December, but she wasn’t very consistent about incubating them. None of them hatched and they smelled very, very bad. Very bad. Did I say it was bad? Anyway, after we got rid of those, she started laying again. She and our other hen have been brooding for about three weeks, and we got our first little chicks this morning. Only the eggs from the second hens clutch are hatching, so I’m wondering if the other one is infertile. I guess we’ll see (or smell) in a few days. There are six hatched so far and another egg that’s cracked. If they all hatch, we’ll have over thirty.

Anybody want a chicken?

Here’s a video of one of them hatching. I was a little surprised by how long it takes those little guys to hatch. The clip is only about two and a half minutes long, but the poor thing was going at it for over twenty minutes before he finally broke free. He was quite exhausted by the whole ordeal.

Back Away From the Cupcakes!

We recently started watching The Soup on E! and I had to share this clip. I've been unable to find the words to really capture the true essence of it. I tried, but I couldn't stop laughing long enough to have a clear thought.

Warning: For those of you with delicate ears, there is a little bit of swearing in the clip, but no f-bombs.

Enjoy!

Update: The video with the embedded link has been removed from youtube, but you can still watch it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUbsc_a-e3g

Creepy Crawlies

I have to admit that I’ve become a bit of a spider freak since we moved to “our desert”, as my kids like to call it. When we lived in the city, the very idea of a spider made my skin crawl, but now when I find one, the science geek in me comes out and I actually get a little excited.

It all started about four years ago when I found a small brown spider under some boxes. The spider had a marking on its back in the shape of a fiddle. I knew that the brown recluse had a marking like this so I got online to see if I could find a photo. It was surprisingly difficult to find an actual photo of a brown recluse but I learned from descriptions and drawings that the spider I had found was indeed a brown recluse.

Now, most people would have been horrified by this finding. I, however, found it very fascinating and started catching all of the spiders I could find and checking to see if they were recluses. We’ve found a few black widows but the majority of the spiders at our house (other than the daddy long legs) are brown recluses. Since we moved in I’ve found over thirty. They really seem to like the accommodations in our shed, but there have been a few that have found their way into the house. The only one that really scared me was when I put Talise's jacket on her and there was one on the back of it. I was really glad I was helping her that time.

I found one a few months back and managed to get some pretty decent photos. They’re so small that it’s difficult to capture the detail of the eyes and the fiddle shaped marking. This is best way to identify them. They aren’t the only ones with the fiddle shaped marking but that combined with three pairs of eyes in the shape of a V means that chances are very good it’s a recluse.

In addition to the spiders, we have also found a few wind scorpions (aka camel spiders), a walking stick, three or four scorpions, a couple of red racers and one rattlesnake. Plus, there are hundreds (not an exaggeration) of cottontail rabbits and ground squirrels that love our little patch of grass in the front yard.

If you’re interested in seeing the kind of damage a brown recluse can do, just go to http://www.youtube.com/ and do a search for “brown recluse bites”. For those with weak stomachs, you may want to forgo this option. Most of the videos are pretty disgusting.