Monday, February 4, 2013

Kissing Scene Competition

This is my entry for the Kissing Scene Competition put on by the awesomeness that is Cupid’sLiterary Connection. Also, my entry is up over there (#114) for Blind Speed Dating Round #4 if you want to check it out. :)

Update: I made it into the agent round!!! Yay!

A little info to get you started: Seventeen-year-old Olivia has been dreaming of the boy she calls her angel since her fifteenth birthday, but she’s never met him in the real world. In fact, she believes he’s a figment of her imagination. This is the end of their dream—it’s always the same—the last time she has it before she wakes up and finds out he’s not only real, but he’s responsible for her mom’s death.

Here we go… :)

*****

“Okay, Olivia.” He kissed each of my eyelids. “Open them.”

At first, all I could see was his face, beaming down at me. I had to tear my gaze from his to look around.

A seemingly endless field of glowing flowers stretched in every direction. The large, seven-petal blossoms shifted in the breeze. Their luminosity changed depending on the angle, making it clear they weren’t actually glowing, but reflecting the moonlight. It gave the illusion we stood, waist deep, in the middle of a glistening sea.

“Well?” A nervous smile played at his lips. “Disappointed?”

“Are you kidding?” I laughed and turned to stare at the breathtaking scene. “This might be the most beautiful place in the universe.”

He rested a hand on my hip, his breath a warm caress on my neck. “You would know better than anyone.”

I’d yet to figure out what he meant by that, but I couldn’t make myself care. Not with him so close. I twisted around to face him, and his hand slid from my hip to my back, his fingers slipping under the hem of my shirt and brushing my skin. He pulled me tight against him, closer than I’d ever been to any boy. Coherent thought became impossible, and I said the first thing that popped into my head.

“Is this Heaven?”

He laughed, his eyes shining in the light from the two moons overhead. “You’re messing with me, right…? Okay. I’ll play. No, it’s not Heaven, but sometimes, it feels that way, especially with you here.”

My hands tangled in his hair, drawing his face closer.

“I wish you could stay,” he said and pressed his lips to mine in a soft but lingering kiss. Heat poured into me wherever our skin touched.

I wanted to stay, more than anything, but I knew I couldn’t. The feeling of being watched sprang up behind me and I knew it was time. I pressed closer, trying to feel all of him before it ended. He moved his mouth to my ear.

“See you soon,” he whispered, and the world faded away. 

24 comments:

  1. Oh wow, definitely one of my favorites so far! I particularly adore the nervousness of his smile - he's so eager to please her. Love!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I really liked your pitch so it's no surpise I like your kissing scene too.

    My favorite line is when he says "okay, I'll play". It made me laugh.

    I'm assuming they are meeting in a dream world? Also, I was wondering if this is before or after she finds out that he killed her mother in an auto accident?

    Those aren't really relevant questions to the scene but I'm just curious.

    Anyway, I loved this and I'd totally keep reading!

    Good luck in Round 4!

    -Amber (41)
    My Kissing Scene

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Amber! Yes, this is a dream world. This is the last time she has the dream before she wakes up and finds out he's responsible for the accident that killed her mother. Glad you liked it. :)

      Delete
  3. Aw! This is a sweet one. Nice!

    Larissa (#47)

    ReplyDelete
  4. This whole scene is great, but I especially like how you begin and end it. He kisses her eyelids to make her see and then fades away at the end. Great writing!

    Rebecca #21

    ReplyDelete
  5. So sweet and romantic, love your premise! Great visuals ;)

    Jessica #42

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is so swoony and heartfelt, I love it! I would love to read this book. Good luck and this is beautiful! I love your query and 250 too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh I forgot to add *blushes* that I'm #7. I'd be thrilled if you would take a peek on over :)

      Delete
  7. I really like the concept of your story, and found this scene wonderful. I'd love to read more. Best of luck!
    Laura, Kiss #33, BSD #112

    ReplyDelete
  8. So cute and sweet! SO sweet, in fact, that you win this kissing expert's Sugar Lips Award <3

    xo,
    Dahlia

    ReplyDelete
  9. Great scene; I especially love that it's just a dream that she knows she has to wake up from. Sigh. My favorite words: ...his breath a warm caress on my neck. Yum!
    -Entry #12, http://www.shannonwixom.com/blog.html

    ReplyDelete
  10. I loved this scene! Beautiful use of imagery--love the bit about the flowers reflecting moonlight (2 moons--very cool way to show reader we're someplace special) This line so eloquent and drew me right in: "It gave the illusion we stood, waist deep, in the middle of a glistening sea." Dialogue flowed nicely--I also like the "Okay. I’ll play" line! ;)
    I'm intrigued by your premise and I would TOTALLY read this!! Good luck to you in the agent round (I'll see you there ; ) #48

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Jenny! Good luck to you too! :)

      Delete
  11. Oh wow. This is just magical. And I love your premise in your pitch and first 250 as well. Best of luck in the agent round! --Amy (Kiss #5)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Abby Annis. you wrote a blog post. :) glad to see you. i remember this story. did you ever finish or get it published? i'm so out of it lately. i'd love to read it all or read it again or whatever.

    ReplyDelete