Let's Talk Blogfest

I had a hard time finding a scene from my WIP that's heavy on dialogue but doesn't give too much away or hasn't been posted on the blog yet. So I pulled this from my untitled NaNoWriMo project that fizzled out and died. This evolved from a really crappy short story I posted on the blog about a year ago. I think it'll be YA science fiction (maybe horror or dystopian) if I ever finish it. :)

And this is my first attempt at writing a teenage male protag, so if the narrator sounds too girly, I would love to hear your thoughts.

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“Dude, are you crying again?” I laughed. “You are such a girl.”

“So what if I am?” Devan’s back stiffened and his gaze darkened, but those were definitely tears.

Kid needs to toughen up. I shook my head as he stormed out of the room and turned my attention to Emery. “What do you want for dinner?” I held up a dented can of chicken noodle soup and a can of beans. “We got a wide selection here.”

“You're so mean!” Her tiny hands balled into tight fists, and her nose wrinkled as she glared up at me.

“What’s your problem?” I jerked my head toward the bedroom. “You got a crush on the little girl in there.”

She stomped out after Devan, screaming as she went. “Boys are so stupid! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!”

Whatever. I dropped into the chair next to the fireplace and used my knife to pry the top off the soup can. If they didn’t want to make any of the decisions, that was fine with me. Though I could've used some help figuring out what to do next. We were sitting ducks in this house. If we wanted to survive, we needed to find more people, whether Devan agreed to go with us or not.

“Michael?” Emery tugged on my sleeve, pulling me from my thoughts. “I'm sorry. I don’t hate you. Promise.” She sniffled and wrapped her arms around my neck.

“I know, kid. It’s okay.” I pulled her onto my lap and hugged her. “How’s your boyfriend doing in there? He suck it up yet?”

“You should be nicer to Devan. There might be stuff you don’t know about him that you’ll feel bad about later.”

“What kind of stuff?” I set her down next to me, holding her shoulders. “You can’t be keeping secrets from me. Did he do something to you?” If that creep laid one finger on my little sister…

“No.” Her eyes widened. “Don’t be mad. He didn’t do anything real bad.”

“What do you mean, he didn't do anything real bad?” I jumped up, my chair scraping across the floor, and threw open the bedroom door. “What the hell’d you do to—”

Devan stood in front of the dresser mirror with his shirt off. Tight, white bandages covered most of his torso.

My jaw clenched. “When were you going to tell me, you little cretin? When’d you get bit? Yesterday? Was it before we got here?” I pounded my fist against the wall, cracking the drywall. “You could turn on us at any minute and you don’t have the decency to warn us?”

He just stared, his mouth hanging open.

“Emery and I are leaving first thing tomorrow.” I jabbed my finger in his direction. “Without you.”

Emery flinched as the door slammed shut behind me, echoing through the small house. She curled up in a ball on the couch, her bottom lip trembling. I grabbed the shotgun and paced in front of the fireplace. Don’t know where we’re going, but we gotta get out of here before idiot boy in there turns into one of them.

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Thanks for reading! All honest thoughts are welcome. :) Be sure to check out the other posts here.