Wednesday, May 6, 2009

WIP Wednesday aka Perfectionist Hell

For a period of about four weeks, spanning January and February, I wrote almost nothing. My characters pestered me to move forward, but I was afraid to write the ending, afraid it would be awful. So, I procrastinated. I edited and edited and edited what I had already written. I spent a lot of time researching query letters and everything involved in getting published--a very daunting process. And I spent a lot of time learning how to improve my writing.

One of the things I read over and over was rewriting is necessary. Not reworking and making what I already have better, but actually scrapping the old stuff and starting anew. On the same book! Pure insanity. That’s what I used to think. Since then, I have scrapped and rewritten small sections, but nothing too major. Until now.

Remember I said I spent a lot of time learning how to improve my writing? It was just two paragraphs back. You really should remember. Well, I think my writing did improve. I think it improved a lot. It’s still far from perfect, but so much better than eight months ago. Problem is, the stuff I wrote in the beginning? Total crap. I’ve been over it a gazillion times making minor edits and changes, trying to make it better, but I’ve never been totally happy with it. It wasn’t until I got a super awesome critique a few days ago, from the amazing Tere, that I realized just how awful it is. My sincerest apologies to all my beta readers who were subjected to it.

I still can’t believe I’m doing this, but I’ve decided to rewrite at least the first four chapters. So, how does one just delete 12,000 words and start over? I don’t know. Maybe I’m crazy. I’m feeling a little like that today. And I won’t really be deleting it, just putting it in a computer file, to sit untouched, never to be looked at again. For some reason, I can’t delete anything.

So, what I thought was my almost complete, almost ready to be seriously queried work in progress, is now my incomplete work in progress. Again. And now there’s a new story brewing, thanks to the short story challenge the other day.

I have made some progress this week. The first chapter rewrite is done. Though I didn’t truly rewrite the whole first chapter, just most of it. That one has been stripped to the bare bones six times since I started this project, so it’s less crap than the rest.

Does anyone else live in this perfectionist hell? I think I might lose my mind soon--if it’s not gone already.

4 comments:

  1. I don't know if you could call what I exist in "perfectionist hell". I can tell you though, that I had to recently go back and completely re-write my opening chapter. I also had to change my whole perspective on my WIP, because I had been missing a very obvious element to the story. So while it is difficult, things like this are sometimes very necessary. There's nothing wrong with being a perfectionist, as long as you don't get caught up in editing for the sake of editing. Trust in your heart, trust that you've told the story well enough, and then move on.

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  2. You are so brave, Abby! I'm totally proud of you that you are taking this awesome/exciting/terrifying risk to make your novel even stronger :).

    And you're right--NEVER delete anything! Keep it for later. You never know what kind of diamonds are hiding in the rough.

    Keep at it! You rock!

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  3. Fellow perfectionist reporting. ;-) I'm trying to kill that perfectionist bug, but it isn't easy. I'm glad you found a way that works for you, and that you have the courage to do it!

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  4. Eric - I've done the opening chapter rewrite several times too. Twice where it affected the whole storyline. I guess that's what I get for not using an outline. Huge pain, but it made it so much better, so it was totally worth it.

    Becca - Brave? You're too kind. The word my husband used was exasperating :D. He's actually very supportive. I think he's just getting tired of reading the same story over and over, even if the writing is better.

    Windsong - Is there a way to kill it? I've been trying my whole life. I think my bug's immortal.

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