This is a repost from July 31, 2009.
Warm Fuzzy Preserves - Anybody Know Where I Can Buy Some?
Wouldn’t it be great if there was a way to store some confidence and good feelings for all the crappy days? When you're feeling down, just pop open a jar of warm fuzzy preserves and you're good to go? It's amazing how fleeting those feelings can be.
Several rejections on my query [July 2009], combined with a whole slew of other things that have been weighing down on me lately, got me thinking about how quickly we can lose the confidence that’s so necessary in this business. It amazes me how one day I can read something I’ve written and think it’s total crap but go back to it a week later and think it’s brilliant. And, of course, that works in the reverse as well, probably more frequently. Unfortunately.
It’s difficult to maintain confidence in your own work, especially with the abundance of exceptional work already out there. I often find myself comparing my work to others', even though there should be no comparison. Other than the technical aspect, my writing should be my own and whatever so-n-so does over there, should have no bearing on whether my work is good enough. Yet, even knowing that, I tend to hold myself to unreasonable standards, which only contribute to those am I good enough feelings.
Negativity is effortless for me. I wish I could be the kind of person that always looks on the bright side of things. I try, I really do, but some days, the dark, self-destructive thoughts just overpower everything else. Fortunately, I’m blessed to have a loving and supportive family and an undeniable faith in something greater than myself that give me a safe place to fall when I’m feeling the worst. And being able to express myself creatively has provided me with an outlet for those dark thoughts that would otherwise stay locked inside.
Whether it’s through drawing, painting, or writing, the act of creating something has a way of pulling me out of those dark places. Maybe it’s the pride of knowing I made something beautiful, in my mind at least. Maybe it’s that little feeling of power that I’m capable of creation. Whatever it is, creativity is my most effective tool for bringing me back to reality, even if it means I’m totally immersed in some imaginary world.
And of course, I couldn’t do it without all the amazing friends I’ve made through blogging. You guys are all so supportive and totally awesome!
So, do you ever have those days where you feel like nothing you do will ever be good enough? And what do you do to combat it? Is losing yourself in your work enough or do you find you have to step away and come back when you feel like you can have a more objective perspective?
Showing posts with label repost. Show all posts
Showing posts with label repost. Show all posts
Monday, March 22, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Little Miss Perfect Rears Her Snooty Head (Repost)
Since it's technically unplug week and I have a few things I need to get caught up on, I'm going to be unplugging this week, but I thought I'd repost some of my favorites so the blog doesn't feel too lonely this week. Have a great week, all!
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Original post here.
I was going to do an evil post today about similes, but I decided Friday needs to be a positive day, so I’ll save the evil for Monday. :)
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about perfectionism. I know that a lot of us crazy writers suffer from this disease. I definitely haven’t been spared.
It can be a good thing, and it pushes us to want to learn how to make our writing better and always put out our best work.
BUT…
Most of the time, I think it’s more a hindrance than a help. Often, it keeps the words from flowing, because for some reason, I think I can do it perfect the first time. We all know this is impossible, but Little Miss Perfect refuses to accept it. She knows everything. Everything. She thinks she’s so smart. She’s kind of stuck up, actually, and most of the time, I don’t like her very much.
We all make mistakes. It’s part of being human. I see typos and misspelled words all over the place. What’s the difference between others’ mistakes and my mistakes? When other people do it, I can let it go. Oh, must be a typo. No biggie. Or, She was in a hurry, because she’s really nice and tries to visit all the blogs she follows and leave thoughtful comments. All is forgiven.
If I make a mistake, my throat feels like it’s going to close up, and my mouse wielding hand is just itching to delete and fix it. It makes me crazy I can’t edit my comments. That’s part of the reason I don’t comment much, because it takes me so long to leave a comment. Everything I do must be proofread to perfection.
The main thing that makes me so crazy is I can’t let it go. Some of you probably noticed and were too nice to say anything, but my post from Monday had a typo in the title and a misspelled word in the body of the post. Nothing serious, but it’s going to bother me for a while. Even though it’s all fixed now. Neurotic? Yes. Can it be helped? I don’t know. I’m guessing, unlikely.
So, now for the positive point of this post. In the midst of striving for perfection, we often forget our best qualities and focus on the things we’re doing wrong. And we ALL have good, no, excellent qualities. Each and every one of us.
I know this is hard, but all humility and insecurity are being thrown to the wind today. Say goodbye.
Goodbye, humility. Goodbye, insecurity. I’m sure you’ll both find your way back soon.
I want to know what makes you awesome. It doesn’t have to be about writing. Whatever you want to share. Anything to give yourself a little boost before the weekend. :D
Don’t slink away and try to hide in the bloggy shadows. No one will boo your awesomeness here. :) I’ll give you a starter phrase:
I am awesome because…
Example:
I am awesome, because I make all of my kids’ Halloween costumes, so they get to be whatever they want. (I have to make up for all the time I spend writing/crafting/being generally distracted somehow.) Oh, and I think they’re the best dressed kids, every Halloween. :D That’s mine.
Now it’s your turn. Aaaand go!!
--------------
Original post here.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about perfectionism. I know that a lot of us crazy writers suffer from this disease. I definitely haven’t been spared.
It can be a good thing, and it pushes us to want to learn how to make our writing better and always put out our best work.
BUT…
Most of the time, I think it’s more a hindrance than a help. Often, it keeps the words from flowing, because for some reason, I think I can do it perfect the first time. We all know this is impossible, but Little Miss Perfect refuses to accept it. She knows everything. Everything. She thinks she’s so smart. She’s kind of stuck up, actually, and most of the time, I don’t like her very much.
We all make mistakes. It’s part of being human. I see typos and misspelled words all over the place. What’s the difference between others’ mistakes and my mistakes? When other people do it, I can let it go. Oh, must be a typo. No biggie. Or, She was in a hurry, because she’s really nice and tries to visit all the blogs she follows and leave thoughtful comments. All is forgiven.
If I make a mistake, my throat feels like it’s going to close up, and my mouse wielding hand is just itching to delete and fix it. It makes me crazy I can’t edit my comments. That’s part of the reason I don’t comment much, because it takes me so long to leave a comment. Everything I do must be proofread to perfection.
The main thing that makes me so crazy is I can’t let it go. Some of you probably noticed and were too nice to say anything, but my post from Monday had a typo in the title and a misspelled word in the body of the post. Nothing serious, but it’s going to bother me for a while. Even though it’s all fixed now. Neurotic? Yes. Can it be helped? I don’t know. I’m guessing, unlikely.
So, now for the positive point of this post. In the midst of striving for perfection, we often forget our best qualities and focus on the things we’re doing wrong. And we ALL have good, no, excellent qualities. Each and every one of us.
I know this is hard, but all humility and insecurity are being thrown to the wind today. Say goodbye.
Goodbye, humility. Goodbye, insecurity. I’m sure you’ll both find your way back soon.
I want to know what makes you awesome. It doesn’t have to be about writing. Whatever you want to share. Anything to give yourself a little boost before the weekend. :D
Don’t slink away and try to hide in the bloggy shadows. No one will boo your awesomeness here. :) I’ll give you a starter phrase:
I am awesome because…
Example:
I am awesome, because I make all of my kids’ Halloween costumes, so they get to be whatever they want. (I have to make up for all the time I spend writing/crafting/being generally distracted somehow.) Oh, and I think they’re the best dressed kids, every Halloween. :D That’s mine.
Now it’s your turn. Aaaand go!!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Hello. My name is Abby. And I'm a Lurker. (Repost)
Since it's technically unplug week and I have a few things I need to get caught up on, I'm going to be unplugging this week, but I thought I'd repost some of my favorites so the blog doesn't feel too lonely this week. Have a great week, all!
--------------
Original post here.
Over on the QueryTracker blog, there's a really great post about commenting on agent blogs and leaving comments that will be intriguing enough to motivate readers and/or agents to check out your blog.
I personally like to lurk most of the time. I don't usually comment unless I feel like what I have to say is pertinent or funny, and the things I think are funny, don't always come across as funny to others, even in a face-to-face conversation. I find that my husband is laughing at me just as often as with me. So, I don't comment much. I know I should, and it will only help my platform (currently my least favorite word), but in the real world, I can't jump into a conversation of strangers, and say something witty and memorable. I like to really think about what I'm going to say and analyze it to death first. Unless I know you well, and then I've been told to 'just shut up already' pretty regularly.
Anyway. On some of these blogs, the regulars already seem to have a natural, flowing back and forth going, and I feel like I'm stepping into the middle of a conversation of old friends. Then I picture them all kind of looking at eachother, and with valley girl voices saying things like, "Who is that girl?" "She's wierd." "Did we ask her opinion?" "I don't think so." "Whatever." Lots of hair flipping and noses in the air.
Okay, so maybe the things that happen inside my head are a tad melodramatic, and the rational part of my brain knows that this is not happening. Well, maybe sometimes. See?! But I have an overactive imagination and I've had a lifetime to practice being a shy, withdrawn person and all the insecurities that come with that personality. So, maybe someday.
I know many of you are incredibly witty, and I'll read comment after comment of thoughtful, funny stuff. So, I'm wondering. Do you comment on every blog you read? Or are you like me, and just lurk until you find you have something incredibly insightful and hilarious to say? We're all incredibly insightful and hilarious, at least in our own minds, right?
--------------
Original post here.
Over on the QueryTracker blog, there's a really great post about commenting on agent blogs and leaving comments that will be intriguing enough to motivate readers and/or agents to check out your blog.
I personally like to lurk most of the time. I don't usually comment unless I feel like what I have to say is pertinent or funny, and the things I think are funny, don't always come across as funny to others, even in a face-to-face conversation. I find that my husband is laughing at me just as often as with me. So, I don't comment much. I know I should, and it will only help my platform (currently my least favorite word), but in the real world, I can't jump into a conversation of strangers, and say something witty and memorable. I like to really think about what I'm going to say and analyze it to death first. Unless I know you well, and then I've been told to 'just shut up already' pretty regularly.
Anyway. On some of these blogs, the regulars already seem to have a natural, flowing back and forth going, and I feel like I'm stepping into the middle of a conversation of old friends. Then I picture them all kind of looking at eachother, and with valley girl voices saying things like, "Who is that girl?" "She's wierd." "Did we ask her opinion?" "I don't think so." "Whatever." Lots of hair flipping and noses in the air.
Okay, so maybe the things that happen inside my head are a tad melodramatic, and the rational part of my brain knows that this is not happening. Well, maybe sometimes. See?! But I have an overactive imagination and I've had a lifetime to practice being a shy, withdrawn person and all the insecurities that come with that personality. So, maybe someday.
I know many of you are incredibly witty, and I'll read comment after comment of thoughtful, funny stuff. So, I'm wondering. Do you comment on every blog you read? Or are you like me, and just lurk until you find you have something incredibly insightful and hilarious to say? We're all incredibly insightful and hilarious, at least in our own minds, right?
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
They're Just Jealous of My Awesomeness (Repost)
Since it's technically unplug week and I have a few things I need to get caught up on, I'm going to be unplugging this week, but I thought I'd repost some of my favorites so the blog doesn't feel too lonely this week. Have a great week, all!
--------------
Original post here.
My participation in the Secret Agent contest over on Miss Snark’s First Victim last week was an educational experience to say the least. I think people are much more capable of giving truly honest feedback when they’re not emotionally invested in the person whose work they’re critiquing. I’m not saying we all don’t do our best to give honest critiques, but when the critiquee is a stranger, it’s much easier to say it without the sugar coating.
The comments on mine were generally not too bad, and they were very helpful in getting me a little closer to where I need to be on my opening. The Secret Agent’s comment, “I would not keep reading.” was like a punch in the gut, but I’m okay with it—it wasn’t quite there yet, and, obviously, not everyone is going to like my stuff. I’ve moved on. Really, I have. Totally over it. (This opening has actually been totally scrapped since I first wrote this post. Just wasn't working.)
The whole experience got me thinking about the rollercoaster of emotions involved in having other people critique your work. It reminded me of the seven stages of grief, and I thought this model was perfect for describing what a writer goes through. I might've taken a little creative license and changed things up a bit, but the basic idea is the same. And my examples might be just a tad more melodramatic than real life, but who doesn’t enjoy a little drama? If you don’t, you’re reading the wrong blog.
So, without further ado, I give you…
THE SEVEN STAGES OF CRITIQUEY GRIEF
1. SHOCK
What?! But… but I’m AWESOME!!! How could they say such horrible things?
2. DENIAL
They’re wrong. It’s perfect the way it is. There’s nothing they can say that will make me believe it needs to be changed. I write beautiful words. Exquisite words!
3. ANGER
How dare they?! How. Dare. They! Pssssh! They’re just jealous they can’t be as awesome as I am. Pathetic. *flips hair and rolls eyes* Just pathetic.
4. GUILT
Wait. That comment kind of makes sense. And that one. Why didn’t I see that? It’s so obvious!! Oh, this is so humiliating. Now EVERYONE knows what a horrible writer I am. How will I ever show my face on the blogosphere again? I’m going to hide under my desk.
5. DEPRESSION
I suck! Big time. Nothing I write will ever be good enough. I should just give up now and save myself any more humiliation. Miss H.H. Writerlady is so much better than me, and she always leaves such encouraging comments about the contest entries. Why can’t I write like her? I’ll never get an agent. I’ll never get published. I’m just going to stay under my desk and listen to Evanescence’s My Immortal over and over on my iPod. Please just leave me alone and let me wallow in peace. Sniff. Don’t judge me. You have no idea how hard it is to be a writer! WAAAH!
6. THE UPWARD TURN
Sniff. I really can’t live under here forever. I’m starting to get hungry. I need chocolate. And Dr. Pepper. I guess I can sit in the chair. It’s more comfortable than the floor. *wiggles the mouse* Hmm. Maybe this isn’t all crap. Maybe I don’t totally suck. Sniff.
7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE
I guess if I moved this section and tweaked that, it would all flow better. And that is kind of confusing, but I can fix that. No problem. Sorry, beloved scene. Looks like we’re all better without you. Don’t cry. I’ll miss you too. *wipes a tear* Huh. Wow. This is so much better than it was before. Thank you, critters! Without you, my work never could have been this great! I am a good writer. I will get an agent. I will get published. Because I’m AWESOME!! Of course. ;D
--------------
Original post here.
The comments on mine were generally not too bad, and they were very helpful in getting me a little closer to where I need to be on my opening. The Secret Agent’s comment, “I would not keep reading.” was like a punch in the gut, but I’m okay with it—it wasn’t quite there yet, and, obviously, not everyone is going to like my stuff. I’ve moved on. Really, I have. Totally over it. (This opening has actually been totally scrapped since I first wrote this post. Just wasn't working.)
The whole experience got me thinking about the rollercoaster of emotions involved in having other people critique your work. It reminded me of the seven stages of grief, and I thought this model was perfect for describing what a writer goes through. I might've taken a little creative license and changed things up a bit, but the basic idea is the same. And my examples might be just a tad more melodramatic than real life, but who doesn’t enjoy a little drama? If you don’t, you’re reading the wrong blog.
So, without further ado, I give you…
THE SEVEN STAGES OF CRITIQUEY GRIEF
1. SHOCK
What?! But… but I’m AWESOME!!! How could they say such horrible things?
2. DENIAL
They’re wrong. It’s perfect the way it is. There’s nothing they can say that will make me believe it needs to be changed. I write beautiful words. Exquisite words!
3. ANGER
How dare they?! How. Dare. They! Pssssh! They’re just jealous they can’t be as awesome as I am. Pathetic. *flips hair and rolls eyes* Just pathetic.
4. GUILT
Wait. That comment kind of makes sense. And that one. Why didn’t I see that? It’s so obvious!! Oh, this is so humiliating. Now EVERYONE knows what a horrible writer I am. How will I ever show my face on the blogosphere again? I’m going to hide under my desk.
5. DEPRESSION
I suck! Big time. Nothing I write will ever be good enough. I should just give up now and save myself any more humiliation. Miss H.H. Writerlady is so much better than me, and she always leaves such encouraging comments about the contest entries. Why can’t I write like her? I’ll never get an agent. I’ll never get published. I’m just going to stay under my desk and listen to Evanescence’s My Immortal over and over on my iPod. Please just leave me alone and let me wallow in peace. Sniff. Don’t judge me. You have no idea how hard it is to be a writer! WAAAH!
6. THE UPWARD TURN
Sniff. I really can’t live under here forever. I’m starting to get hungry. I need chocolate. And Dr. Pepper. I guess I can sit in the chair. It’s more comfortable than the floor. *wiggles the mouse* Hmm. Maybe this isn’t all crap. Maybe I don’t totally suck. Sniff.
7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE
I guess if I moved this section and tweaked that, it would all flow better. And that is kind of confusing, but I can fix that. No problem. Sorry, beloved scene. Looks like we’re all better without you. Don’t cry. I’ll miss you too. *wipes a tear* Huh. Wow. This is so much better than it was before. Thank you, critters! Without you, my work never could have been this great! I am a good writer. I will get an agent. I will get published. Because I’m AWESOME!! Of course. ;D
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
But... But... But... (Repost)
Since it's technically unplug week and I have a few things I need to get caught up on, I'm going to be unplugging this week, but I thought I'd repost some of my favorites so the blog doesn't feel too lonely this week. Have a great week, all!
--------------
Original post here.
A couple of years ago, I was shopping at Target, and I kept running into this woman whose son, maybe three or four years old, cried the whole time she was there. I remember smiling to myself, so happy to be alone in the store with no one pulling on me and begging for everything in sight. I love going to the store alone. It's like going to the spa for mothers of small children. I'm sure some of you can relate.
When I got in line, this woman and her wailing child got in line behind me. He was begging her for something, and I could tell, he really, really wanted it, but Mom remained steadfast and immovable, never giving in to his demands. Something that's very difficult to do when you just want your kid to shut up already. ;)
After another firm denial, the poor, picked on little guy looked to his mother with a beseeching expression and wailed, "But I'm AWESOME!!!"
Mom quietly reassured him that he was awesome, but he wasn't getting that toy he wanted.
Since then, this has been a bit of a joke between my husband and me. When we notice that someone is acting particularly picked on (usually one of our kids), one of us will whisper to the other, "But I'm awesome!" Then we'll have a little laugh, because we're so amused by ourselves.
Now, as much I enjoy using it to mock my children and all their preteen suffering, I think there's some wisdom in it. We're all pretty awesome in our own ways, even when we're feeling otherwise.
So, since I'm feeling pretty good this week, I think I'll aim to follow that little boy's example. When I'm feeling like everything I write is crap, and my life is just one giant rejection, I'll yell from the rooftops, "But I'm AWESOME!!!"
Okay, maybe not from the rooftops. I'm not good with heights. I'd probably get stuck up there. Maybe from my front door.
--------------
Original post here.
A couple of years ago, I was shopping at Target, and I kept running into this woman whose son, maybe three or four years old, cried the whole time she was there. I remember smiling to myself, so happy to be alone in the store with no one pulling on me and begging for everything in sight. I love going to the store alone. It's like going to the spa for mothers of small children. I'm sure some of you can relate.
When I got in line, this woman and her wailing child got in line behind me. He was begging her for something, and I could tell, he really, really wanted it, but Mom remained steadfast and immovable, never giving in to his demands. Something that's very difficult to do when you just want your kid to shut up already. ;)
After another firm denial, the poor, picked on little guy looked to his mother with a beseeching expression and wailed, "But I'm AWESOME!!!"
Mom quietly reassured him that he was awesome, but he wasn't getting that toy he wanted.
Since then, this has been a bit of a joke between my husband and me. When we notice that someone is acting particularly picked on (usually one of our kids), one of us will whisper to the other, "But I'm awesome!" Then we'll have a little laugh, because we're so amused by ourselves.
Now, as much I enjoy using it to mock my children and all their preteen suffering, I think there's some wisdom in it. We're all pretty awesome in our own ways, even when we're feeling otherwise.
So, since I'm feeling pretty good this week, I think I'll aim to follow that little boy's example. When I'm feeling like everything I write is crap, and my life is just one giant rejection, I'll yell from the rooftops, "But I'm AWESOME!!!"
Okay, maybe not from the rooftops. I'm not good with heights. I'd probably get stuck up there. Maybe from my front door.
And since I should be revising my novel right now, I decided to make another badge. What can I say? I'm pretty awesome at procrastination. ;D Enjoy!
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