Wouldn’t it be great if there was a way to store some confidence and good feelings for all the crappy days? When you're feeling down, just pop open a jar of warm fuzzy preserves and you're good to go? It's amazing how fleeting those feelings can be.
Several rejections on my query, combined with a whole slew of other things that have been weighing down on me lately, got me thinking about how quickly we can lose the confidence that’s so necessary in this business. It amazes me how one day I can read something I’ve written and think it’s total crap, but go back to it a week later and think it’s brilliant. And, of course, that works in the reverse as well, probably more frequently. Unfortunately.
It’s difficult to maintain confidence in your own work, especially with the abundance of exceptional work already out there. I often find myself comparing my work to others, even though there should be no comparison. Other than the technical aspect, my writing should be my own and whatever so-n-so does over there, should have no bearing on whether my work is good enough. Yet, even knowing that, I tend to hold myself to unreasonable standards, which only contribute to those ‘am I good enough’ feelings.
Negativity is effortless for me. I wish I could be the kind of person that always looks on the bright side of things. I try, I really do, but some days, the dark, self-destructive thoughts just overpower everything else. Fortunately, I’m blessed to have a loving and supportive family and an undeniable faith in something greater than myself that give me a safe place to fall when I’m feeling the worst. And being able to express myself creatively has provided me with an outlet for those dark thoughts that would otherwise stay locked inside.
Whether it’s through drawing, painting, or writing, the act of creating something has a way of pulling me out of those dark places. Maybe it’s the pride of knowing I made something beautiful, in my mind at least. Maybe it’s that little feeling of power that I’m capable of creation. Whatever it is, creativity is my most effective tool for bringing me back to reality, even if it means I’m totally immersed in some imaginary world.
And of course, I couldn’t do it without all the amazing friends I’ve made through blogging. You guys are all so supportive and totally awesome!
So, do you ever have those days where you feel like nothing you ever do will be good enough? And what do you do to combat it? Is losing yourself in your work enough or do you find you have to step away and come back when you feel like you can have a more objective perspective?